Being Uncomfortable

The Road from Kathmandu (photo: M.A.)

As we were driven away from Kathmandu toward our remote hotel, the two-lane paved road narrowed to a one lane dirt path up the side of the mountain--one lane width but still two-way traffic…with no guard rails. And no seatbelts. During the hour-long ride I couldn’t focus on anything except the possibility of the car slipping off the road and plunging down the cliff. I was so worried about the terrifying and unavoidable trip back down the mountain in a few days that I realized I wouldn’t enjoy our stay at the top. A month later we took a taxi through the flooded streets of Dar es Salaam, Tanzania, to reach the airport, and a week after that we watched from our safari vehicle as numerous trucks became stuck in knee-deep mud in the Serengeti. These experiences would have driven me to tears, or worse, a year ago. I’m not saying I enjoyed these stressors over the past few weeks, but I did feel confident that I could handle them.

Part of the motivation for this trip was to expose S and Z to different or challenging experiences and allow them to build their own level of confidence. Figuring out how to get through an airport from the curb to the plane, finding their way back to our hotel or apartment in a new city, managing to order from a menu in a foreign language and discovering a new cuisine. But the kids aren’t the only ones experiencing growth. M and I are challenging ourselves too (and not just by travelling 24/7 with two adolescents).

Several years ago I read a book called “How to Be Comfortable with Being Uncomfortable” in which Ben Aldridge describes his quest to “take back control of his life” from anxiety and worry. He writes:

“It’s very easy for us to want to stay within…our comfort zones. We’re all guilty of this and it’s something that we have to consciously work hard at to change. To actually stretch the shape of our comfort zones, we need to leave them. We need to explore the areas that are just past the borders and in the unknown. By doing this we push the boundaries and expand our horizons of what we find comfortable.”

Aldridge made a list of things that scared him and challenges that would make him face those fears head on. He explains, “In that moment I decided to stare fear and anxiety in the face and work through my ambitious list of challenges, all in the name of self-improvement.”

After reading the book, I decided I too would take on some of those same challenges: take a cold shower, try a new food, learn a foreign language, learn to solve a Rubik’s cube, wear an outfit that I think is ridiculous/embarrassing, practice meditation. Along with having a few funny stories to tell and a few new skills, I came away with the realization that much of our limitations are not physical but mental. I can physically handle taking a freezing cold shower for 3 minutes, but every second of the experience I have to overcome my desire to turn it off. It’s not hard to sit still for 5 minutes and do nothing, but I have to will myself to stick with my brief meditation practice.

I realize that as we experience more challenges on this trip, our track record of successfully navigating them has a compounding effect. Surviving the flooded roads of Dar es Salaam, the harrowing turns of Nepal, and the rough terrain of the Serengeti gives me confidence that whatever this trip (or life) throws at me, I’ll be a little more prepared to push through the discomfort, appreciate new experiences and continue to grow.